An experience in Functional Integration

A 1 to 1 session with Jenny Coogan

I was so lucky to have a chance to have a 1 to 1 Feldenkrais Functional Integration session with Jenny Coogan. As a big part of my dissertation was investigating the Feldenkrais method and its forms, it was very beneficial for me to physically experience this particular form of the method. The main focuses were on the release of my lower back and the back of my neck. After a short discussion about the specificity of the tensions I held, a completely silent hands on work followed. This way I had a chance to experience the power of letting go and giving in into somebody else's hands as well as enhance my senses in order to achieve the release of the held pain in order to improve my movement performance by allowing me to move just a little bit easier. I had a chance to process and notice the changes happening without any verbal instructions given. It was absolutely amazing, after an hour's session, I felt so lengthened and such a release in my neck, it felt like there was so much space made within my spine, and between the neck and shoulders, it almost felt like it's never going back. In this way I had a chance to re-evaluate my knowledge about the Method. If this can make such a difference after one session, I would absolutely recommend this Method and this particular form to people who suffer from pains which causes restriction of movements because it is effective for human performance in everyday life just as much as it is for dancing bodies.

Many Thanks to Jenny Coogan for her time and the experience given ;]

Peer Teaching session


One of the tasks we had for Movement Studies, was planning a short session and delivering it to your peers. As my interest this year has been accessing the nervous system, the material I delivered was based on this experiential experience. This was following the interest in integrating the interaction between inner functioning and outer world, two things of which somatic nervous system (receiving, interpreting and responding to the information) and autonomic nervous system (responsible for involuntary, surviving processes) are responsible for. Therefore my intention was experiencing the nervous system as nerve cells, how it fires, and how quickly it travels through the body in order to notice how quickly the information is proceeded and even registered.  Hence I have started from showing short video about the nervous system and neurons, then followed with Body Scanning imagery exercise to bring the focus to the body, then the hands on work followed of cellular touch and finally moved towards a hands on partner graphic of travelling fingers, that I experienced myself before in SRT class 11 and that I found very relevant for this exploration. If I had more time, my further instructions would have lead to slightly more detailed explorations as well as towards little solo dance, involving some music/sound, and even contact improvisation.

It was very beneficial to be able to deliver such material, because I could make evaluations about myself as a teacher. Although it required some research in books (took me quite a few to look at to find the most relevant and beneficial material) and online, it was not too difficult to plan this class, as it was my own interest this whole year, especially second term. Actually, it drew my interest in ways of teaching even more! Even though a number of aspects of teaching had to be considered for this particular session. However, in time of delivery, the time limitation appeared to be tricky, as the material I had is demanding for quite longer amount of time. Therefore the lack of information/details for imagery was noticed. However, details like the correct use of voice, clarity of instructions given, the layout of the material given was complimented by my colleagues. The connection between visual material and practical material was acknowledged working well together, helping to move through material quite swiftly.

Being a participant of other people's 'little classes' helped me not only notice the aspects of given material but critically look at delivering itself, to notice what methods of delivery works better than the others. This included the feedback discussion, as the ethics of feedback is a very important part of teaching skills too.

I think this session was a really good chance to experiment teaching abilities. I hope to be able to deliver this material to another group of people in the future!

March Entry

My lovely experience in SRT

This term, I had an amazing opportunity to do a series of 15 Skinner Releasing Technique introductory classes. 3 times a week, 5 weeks in a row, was an intensive practice of this particular technique, in comparison to my previous experience doing first 10 classes in 10 weeks period.
First of all, evaluating this practice, it was really beneficial for me considering the investigation and research I did on SRT for my dissertation, so starting this series I already had a different level of understanding, hence different approach to a given material. I could really connect to the imagery scores much quicker than I used to, and because of the intensity it felt like really layering up, because my body could easily remember and connect to the material that has been done in previous classes. Even the material from 1st term and from the few weeks of the start of second term was still present. This even appeared in my journal writing, where I mention the connections to some phrase work, and movement patterns' exploration.
Something that particularly interested me in SRT this time, was some kind of connection to my nervous system, and a very different experience of consciousness and unconsciousness. I was actually exploring the difference of it and noticing the moments when it shifts and switches. Therefore, very interestingly, I have started to learn to use conscious and subconscious once I get dancing, and letting myself be...letting myself being danced by what is awakened there at that very moment by the imagery and partner graphics, or sometimes just letting go...When you experience that subconsciouss state of mind where you are not asleep, but you are not conscious, and you know you've been hearing everything that Polly said, but can not actually remember it yourself until it is said to you again after you finish the class, makes you wonder about the ways your mind is processing the information beyond your own conscious choice..
Technically I improved in 'seeing and being seen' as well as improved my tone, presence and fuller embodiment of the movement. I also noticed an improvement in my flexibility, especially in my hip socket.
There is a little quote from my notes from one of the classes:

'I was dancing, not danced today...However, the calm in the body is just incredible in these classes. Supple feet, quietened vibrations of energy that's put into the space. That's how it takes me into a peaceful dance today...'

' You just let your inner energy come into play, let it flow with no restrictions and take you somewhere unexpected, but keep that suspension of the torso with you, making those legs so light, your whole body supported..as if you're flying just above the floor and glide around the space...and there you taken somewhere before you even know...'

The reverberations of this practice was very present in the afternoon Improvisation classes too. The group work/working with more than one partner was most significant for me in these classes, because I could really feel the differences between individuals, which made me aware of more possibilities within dance practice and performance making practice, as well as being useful for future teaching.

February Entry

Mid term challenges of the last year at university

So even though this month was probably the most stressful, it was also the month when some things seem to fall into places. The little pieces take its place in a bigger image of our practice. As we finally got to controlateral pattern exploration (opposition), the previously explored patterns really seem to make sense understanding the process of movement pattern development within the body. Now that we can recognize those patterns, it does not only help to find what needs more attention in personal practice and movement development, but also highly supports teaching abilities, as we now can recognize and verbally articulate what the intentions of certain movements are, by using a number of learning tools, which we are about to experiment in the coming weeks.

Coming back to the exploration of controlateral pattern, the most significant thing for me was to find a way to incorporate previously explored qualities of movement in a very gentle way of transitioning from one to the other / combining different patterns, which I was struggling with before because of its complexity. Again, I found that the problem I had was over-thinking and focusing to the details too much; the resolution was hid in lighter attention to the detail and just trusting the unconscious to do the best job.
Although, bringing awareness to the details of patterns was needed to remind the body the better qualities of movement, which is a birthright. For example, noticing of the crawling qualities was a very fun experience, which also highly informed my practice in finding the relationship of movement, hearing and seeing. As my interest in the ability to see and be seen was present for the last few months, this new information almost felt like finding a treasure, a magic tool to work with in order to improve.
These new qualities were apparent in all the classes recently. Such an obvious changes appeared, like dynamics of my movements,increased general presence, higher tone, more interaction with the external rather than just internal relationships that I was so used to. Consequently, this gave me the opportunity for a greater exploration and connection to the nervous system, helping me notice the transitions and even recognize the conscious and unconscious choices of my movement and its effects. Even though I still catch myself on moments when I lose my presence and start to block out the information given or some potential unfolds, I think this recognition and critical but not judgmental evaluation of it is a good point for improvement.
I think every single class we had recently had it's impact in it's own way. Makes you wonder, how such different material refer to one another, and how intellectual understanding can actually make a difference on the technical side of movement and vice versa....Few years ago nobody would have made me believe that dance art form would be so intelligent ;]]]]]]

Some more unfolds...

As my MS3 studies consist of morning classes on Mondays and Tuesdays as well, I would like to shortly  comment on them. Untypically for me, I really enjoy contact improvisation, when this gets involved. Recently I had an opportunity to dance in very different contexts and scores with few different people - some of them are well known in this kind of work for me already, with others I have been doing contact work for the first time. Even though I always felt really comfortable with giving weight and taking weight, etc, now I am much more interested in exploring different qualities and really noticing the difference in them, and recognize which of them are more preferred for me and informing more than the others. However, the most important thing I notably become better is ability to listen and find greater connection with my partner. Ability to follow it is the most beautiful thing I have explored in 3years of developing my contact improvisation skills at University. 

Phrase work mainly informs my practice technically, but it is interesting to notice, how much of imagery is used when teaching and clarifying the movement intentions, which is an interest of mine as a possible future teacher and practitioner. 

Though Improvisation classes mainly feed me as an artist. It develops my perceptiveness, as I learn how to listen, interpret, tune for artistic processes anywhere, anytime, which teaches how to be an artist and feed the process of work even when I am not in the studio. Writing more poetically is also something that unfolds through this practice, which I really appreciate, being so much of a realist !

January Entry

In January we have explored Homologous pattern, homolateral pattern and touched contralateral pattern of the movement as well. Through hands-on work and solo explorations, working with sensing, moving and imagining, we had an opportunity to go back to basics, to where our abilities to do certain movements underlie. In a first place, the transition itself from exploring the patterns through animal species, to actual human beings, felt quite a big change for me. For example, at first, when I started my exploration of homologous pattern, I found it very uncomfortable and unnatural.  excerpt from my notes: 'Frog- felt quite intimate and uncomfortable, very difficult to rock being on the front, because of adult body structure. Quite unfamiliar - felt like split in half! I fount it really demanding and athletic.'

As if 'split in half' was not explored enough, later explorations, starting in Feldenkrais, and continuing by going towards contralateral pattern explorations, made the sense of being split in half , like the blue line shows.

This also felt quite unnatural at the beginning, though much less demanding than homologous pattern. However, the more I was doing it, the more clear and familiar it became, or at least did not feel uncomfortable anymore, even though restricted. This also made me aware of the detail and clarity of the movement, especially when explorations involved teaching aspects. 

In solos, I noticed how much information gained through MS3 classes have already instilled within my body and intellectual understanding. This mainly happened, when at several points during the class, I tried to think about all the qualities of movement that we have been exploring, and tried to integrate them all. which was pretty impossible to do consciously - just too much information at a time. It felt like too much complexity to be thinking of every single one at the same time. 

Generally, I can tell January was great month for my dance practice, even though it was difficult to keep fully engaged, because of all the stress caused by dissertation writing, which was extremely tiring, even though it broadened my understanding of what we were doing as being subject-related. I think my previous 'new' approach of not caring too much, letting things be and reveal itself without too much thinking really worked in my favor. it did not only let me find the momentum, it did actually take me off the floor! i noticed myself much more energetic and open, much less rejecting,, and it also even gave me greater connection with the nervous system, which was and still is my high interest- the stress management, loss of pre-conceptions, ideas of letting go etc. let much more potential to unfold, which I wasn't aware of before. I have let myself dance as my body knows and wants rather than do what I was expected, or what I thought I was expected. I think that just made me much more present in classes and my own practice. So continuing finding the ways to tune up, fully inhabit movements that I do, trying to explore nervous system even further are my current aspirations. oh yeah, and letting things just be. Enjoy the dance, dancer !  

Session with Cecilia Macfarlane

We had a lovely opportunity to work with Cecilia Macfarlane. Sometimes it is really hard to believe, how much information one session can contain. Session with Cecilia was one of them...We were introduced to the concept of dance therapy and 'therapeutic', ways of creating work, compositional aspects and some teaching aspects as well.

To start with, Cecilia's ways of working is quite inspiring, if you notice how she delivers the material, what language she uses, the way she finds the communication and connection with students. It is also very interesting, how she feeds the group of dancing personalities, how little pressure is given, quite little instructions when student is lead to personal solo improvisation, which also are rather comforting and encouraging to work with what is there rather than giving particular scores, corrections or expectations of someone else but the dancer himself. This really felt therapeutic as well as helped to understand the concept of 'therapeutic' in comparison to 'therapy'. It is even more interesting, when she actually explains her intentions, why she chose this particular way of working, this particular piece of music, etc. (can not deny that her chosen piece of music from Pina Bausch's Sacre du Pritempts worked really well for me, possibly because of being familiar and much liked).

The key aspects, that I took from there, was:

• Use of music in therapy and therapeutic work;
• power of listening and power of silence
• Is it head or feeling body that leads you ? maybe this can be shifted for further development?
• about separating something intimate; seeing more objectively; sharing what is yours in artistic work

There are many more little details and ideas, that Cecilia shared with us during this session, highly informing my personal practice as an artist, practitioner and teacher. At the end of the day, how lovely it was to be able to dance allowing the body to express it's own needs in the middle of this very stressful period of time!

Thanks to Cecilia :)

The obstacles for the young pre-professional artist

This entry will be much more of a philosophical thought than analysis of my practice development during the sessions.  

So this year, as every year at University, we had a 3 week break in between two terms. However, for emigrant students like me, who are not getting any kind of loan or other financial support to cover living costs, this time of the year is the very time to earn some money, so i've been working about 80percent of my 3 weeks break time. Although, I wouldn't exactly say, that it wasn't beneficial for my artistic development in any way, as I do not usually dress up as Oompa Loompa in public ;] also, it really was a hard physical work, especially increasing multitasking and co-ordination skills - it is quite a task to balance on one foot whilst leaning over the table pouring hot coffee and holding full pot of boiling tea still behind yourself, so you wouldn't burn yourself or other people close to you. (Do not try it at home ;]]) However, stopping myself from further moaning, I am quite proud of myself for using my only few days off work for resting and writing about 2000 words for my dissertation! (yayyyy) Although I am not quite surprised that I feel extremely exhausted after only first two days back at uni! 

Also, I am not sure if this was caused by an explosion of overwhelmed mind, I recently experienced the change of my attitude - instead of enormous desire and belief of being powerful and able to develop myself in everything I do at the same time (being a superwoman all over the place!), I have turned into the most careless person in the world - 'I'll do everything I have to do without worrying about anything'. Surprisingly, an amazing thing revealed ! I have learned to listen what universe has to offer to me and became open for all the possibilities, and learn the most in the most effortless way possible! I have been constantly told that I need to stop worrying about things and outcome of it, that I just need to let things be and let things happen itself...Believe me, I am not usually one of those people, who are patient enough to wait for things to happen, I tend to get on everything and beat the life hardly to achieve my goals..I really tried to understand the 'letting go and letting be' concept, but only now, when I stopped caring too much, I actually understand what that means. Now I let myself just enjoy the moment and let go of any of the expectations (which the world tried to literally tell me for a while, but I couldn't understand this idea) Therefore ! My dance practice really changed... Instead of having second thoughts about doing things right, worrying about what others, including my teachers, would think of me, how this would affect my grades, etc., I come to class with an attitude, that I have been dancing for a number of years, and I am here to enjoy these skills, and it doesn't matter where it is going to take me or whether I'm actually gonna learn something today. surprisingly, it really works. Since I don't see the sessions as a hard work, I end up rather empowered and energized than as completed the obligation. I find myself observing much more information in this way than ever before.

To sum it all up, I just want to say, that the life is full of surprises, and stopping trying to be perfect, can sometimes reveal more than hard work ! Sometimes we just need to let ourselves be third year's, let ourselves feel mature enough to start fully enjoy the pleasure of dance - this is where all the gathered information settles within the soma and allows our full potential to finally take place! 

Concluding, I wish myself to keep not caring this whole term, that I now really look forwards and am excited about !

p.s. note to myself - remember to acknowledge what will actually be learned, there is a lot of information to come still, at least, note it down !;]

Furthermore, for now I let my head rest from thinking too much about what I am going to do with my life when I finish university - I leave my head open for the answer to come itself; It will come, and I will know when I know that something is the right thing to do or move towards ;]  Need more space in my head for dissertation anyway ;] We only live once ! and we are artists too - we are allowed to be a little crazy and wind blown !

December Entry

December Entry

To be honest, it would not be exactly correct to call it December Entry, because all what is regarding to movement explorations made in December, was actually said and mentioned in November's Entry. However, at the end of term we had group tutorials with Natalie Garrett, which was quite a significant summing up of the current experiences and directions for future development during the second term.

In short, summing up my main areas of development, i can mention seeing and being seen; that reeeealy gained my confidence, and therefore, pleasure in dancing.
also, inhabiting articulation of the spine reached a new level;
even though awareness of the digestive system was not something entirely new, but it really was something really interesting to become aware of once again.

Also, some of terms were explained more during that session, like 'yielding', which was important to understand in order to be available for the coming information, as it seems like there is going to be a lot relation to it.

Shorty summing up my future interests and focuses in my practice, I would mention understanding of the nervous system in particular, finding highest potential of movements by fully inhabiting it - try to go beyond the boundaries of inner attention, even make it physically seen - so that my spectator could feel every cell of my movement ;]]
Also, I am very interested in re-gaining the confidence dancing closely to other bodies after my little trauma in the head.

Not going into too much detail, I am excited in continuing my exploration and development of my practice.

God bless me with health and persistence during the second term ;]